And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
