is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
