Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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