Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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