I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
