I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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