All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
