none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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