Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
