he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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