I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
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How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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