Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
