Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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