look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize