you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
