If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize