they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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