we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize