wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
