i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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