we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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