he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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