So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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