Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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