You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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