You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
