woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
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He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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