i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Randomize
