Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Someone signed my nipple.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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