i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
