I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
