I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
