look no pants
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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