Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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