How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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