exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
they're like a gay fantastic four
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
