Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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