I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
There are leaves in my underwear?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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