nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
