dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
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FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
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Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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