One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
