My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
