But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
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OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
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If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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