worst night to have a conscience
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
