no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
