The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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