plz talk dirty to me
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
