But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
