Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
