I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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