soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
