OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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