Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
