Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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