At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize