i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
