wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
