using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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