He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
