so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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