im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Will you blow on my dice?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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